So here I am, hanging out in the flavellas of Rio de Janeiro, taking some well deserved time off from my busy schedule and hoping to find inspiration for my next screenplay, when, sadly, I come across a film shoot: Hulk número duas.
I observe silently for a few minutes until Louis Letterier comes over, greets me and proceeds to tell me about how this Hulk movie is going to kick some serious ass but also how it will skilfully marry action, adventure, mystery and emotional depth. A new level in comic book adaptation, a work of such intensity that people will quickly forget the mediocrity of Ang Lee’s first Hulk, he says…a portrayal of emotionally troubled creatures who long for the acceptance of the world and the normalness of others…a story of love, betrayal, courage and sacrifice…a timeless piece that, yada yada yada yada…

At that moment, feeling a sudden craving for a Mojito, I pull one of my best disappearing acts, leaving this man behind who is still talking to no one, and knowing only too well that this Hulk film is going to be a disaster of monstrous proportions.

A friend of mine recently commented that, as a child, he couldn’t get into Iron Man because as far as super heroes went, IM was pretty lame. I also never quite got into the exoskeleton-wearing playboy myself, and I must agree that without fancy super powers, radioactive bugs, hammers from the Gods, extravagant nemesis, or mystical origins, Iron Man in fact offered very little to tickle the imagination of young men looking for something beyond what can sometimes be perceived as the boring limitations of reality.

Iron Man in 2008 tries to connect us to the realities of terrorism and war, attempting perhaps to distance itself from the traditional comic book approach and target market. The Man of Steel (of nano fiber would be more appropriate) can help us win the war on terrorism and the world would be a better place if all the greedy businessmen like Tony Stark, Iron Man’s alter ego, would realize that there is more to gain by helping their fellow human beings than by profiting from them. Thus, a weak and overly simple morality angle underpins a film that also happens to have very little action in it. Following unsuccessfully in the footsteps of the Spiderman franchise, Iron Man tries to be too smart for its own good and is filled with cheap lessons about life. Oh and it banks all of its coolness factor on everyone’s latest and most favourite celebrity: Robert Downey Jr.

Don’t get me wrong; I like the guy as much as anyone else. He oozes so much coolness, he ought to patent it. And ever since I watched Less than Zero (1987) eons ago, I learned to appreciate his mannerisms and the overall modus operandi that is so specific to his acting. But I have also come to understand that this is exactly where the problem is with his performances. One is always watching Robert Downey Jr., and rarely the characters that he portrays. Whatever film of his one watches, one can always expect to see Robert Downey Jr. turning up. But because he is so likeable, and now bankable, roles are made to fit around this set of mannerisms. Whether in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005), Fur (2006), A Scanner Darkly (2006), Zodiac (2007), and now Iron Man, the Robert Downey Jr. persona is stronger than the character he is supposed to impersonate, even if this character is perfectly suited to his mannerisms.

There are so many comic book film adaptations these days that each film must find an edge, a unique selling proposition, to make it appealing and marketable. Personally, I think the angles that they found as an excuse to resuscitate Iron Man - current world events, Robert Downey Jr., and possibly the relevance of some of the technology (building such an exoskeleton with the capacity for enhanced strength, vision, communication, endurance, etc…has today nothing to do anymore with Sci-Fi. This is one of the many things that DARPA has been working on for years) on display in the film - are not enough to make this a compelling picture. The characters are by and large poorly developed (which can sometimes be tolerated in comic book adaptations, as long as something else compensate for it), the storyline is fairly weak and predictable, and the action sorely lacking. If one is not going to include much action in such a film, they should ensure that at least other aspects of the film are strong enough to support the overall experience. The end result is that Iron Man is unfortunately a bit bland.

And then, as surely as Luke knew in his heart that Vader was his father, it downs on me that George, who knows a thing or two about silly movies, is right: ‘Spider-Man 3 IS silly’.

The problem with V for Vendetta is that it uses too many ‘fear-of-the-near-future’ cliches and stereotypes to tell its story. There is nothing in its vision of the future that hasn’t been shown on screen before, and better. Still, the film has an overall good pace, some fine British actors, great production design, a few electric action/music moments which the Wachowski Brothers are so good at. And, finally, the film has that Voice. Who wants to see behind the mask when we have that Voice? I still sometimes shout ‘Mr Anderson!’ randomly, just to see if i can imitate that Voice…i could listen to Hugo Weaving all day…

Sin City is a fairly entertaining film to watch, mostly because of its visual aspect. In a truly comic book style, separate stories seem to be taking place in parallel and connect to each other in some way.

Some stories and characters are more interesting than others (Mickey Rourke’s tale is absorbing while Bruce Willis’ is dull and uninspiring) and the violence often becomes too gratuitous.

If cinematic representations of hell, heaven, and demons tend to either bore you, make you lament the sad state of Hollywood cinema, or trigger uncontrollable giggles, then stay away from Constantine. If you are looking for another Blade, a parade of non stop mindless action, then also stay away from Constantine.

The film threads a fine line between Hollywood action and darker, edgier, more serious cinema. The subject matter itself, based on the comic book Hellblazer, is bound to automatically alienate many people, including most art house critics who have better things to do than to to spend their precious gray matter on such implausible rubbish.

Unlike me, who, occasionally, loves to absorb large quantities of such rubbish, as long as the film manages to remain serious in its exploration of the subject matter (and is reasonably well made). I was definitively pleased to see that, for the most part, Constantine avoids those supposedly funny one liners that are a trademark of Hollywood cinema and that are too often used as ‘comic’ relief. Constantine tries to be dark and serious, and while it does not always succeed, it still provides for very good entertainment.

I am actually torn between giving it a 3 and a 4. As with no. 1, Raimi tried to avoid making a brainless action and special effects-driven blockbuster and he must be credited for this. The film is in fact a character-driven piece, and Tobey Maguire makes Peter Parker the kind of guy we can relate to and understand. Doc Oc makes a great villain (his metallic tentacles are spectacular) in spite of his somewhat unbelievable quick back and forth between good and evil. However, as much as i enjoyed the morality aspect of the tale, i felt that by the end of the film we had been given too much of it, and, interestingly, i was craving for a bit more action.

This is a fairly solid effort by the director of Cronos and Blade II.

Guillermo Del Toro is an exciting and promising director with an interesting taste for the bizarre and unusual. He also seems to be attracted to stories that combined elements of the surreal with plausible and realistic settings.

Ron Perlman is indeed very charismatic, as many critics have pointed out, in the role of a demon raised on earth and dedicated to fighting the forces of evil that gave birth to him.

The film contains some truly wonderful special effects that make the experience very entertaining.

Yet, the constant deluge of jokes and comic relief moments ruined what could have been a very serious sci-fi flick.