The Island (Michael Bay 2005)
Posted on May 25 at 15.51, 2006 by Eric Mahleb
May the Lord of all good cinematic things protect us from Michael Bay. This man is a menace to society. And what were McGregor and Johansson thinking? And while it is clear that there is a growing industry for product placements in films, does it have to be so in-your-face? This film is a disgrace and so are its director and producers.
My vote: 
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One Response to “The Island”
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Transformers - Quiet Please - Film reviews by Eric Mahleb Says:
September 21, 2007 at 8.35[…] So here I am, at this party in the Hollywood Hills, hanging out with my loser screenplay writer friend, when Michael Bay walks in with a girl around each arm. Out of all the parties in LA, Michael Bay has to walk into mine. Determined not to let it get to me, I undertake a precise and thorough strategy of avoidance, which works for most of the evening, until another loser friend of mine, this time a Foley operator, who mysteriously appears to know Bay, decides to introduce me to this evilest of all evil directors. Doing my best to hide my repulsion, I reluctantly shake the man’s hands and immediately start to feel nauseous all over, as if I had just put on the ring to rule them all, and had acquired the ability to see the darkness and shadows around me, or in this case, in front of me. And, clearly wanting my death, some guy who evidently exists on a different cinematic plane than I, barges in and exclaims some idiocy along the lines of ‘loved your Transformers Michael’, which naturally brings me closer to regurgitating my Shirataki noodles dinner. Not that I would mind plastering Michael Bay with some no-carb, no-fat vomit, but even Themis, the Greek Goddess of Justice, is not on my side this evening, and I must try to take consolation in the belief that, while slightly more successful than me, Michael Bay remains a cinematic barbarian with no appreciation of cinema as an art. […]